Monday, November 13, 2006
11-12 Nov Aleppo Locals
The best part of visiting Aleppo was meeting the locals. We had lots of opportunities. Our leader Bruce has made friends over the last couple of years with a larger extended family of traders in the the main souk, whom he introduced us to. Hilarious guys with wicked senses of humour. 2 had just returned from 2 years in Sydney. They had missed the family support too much so came back. They seemed a relatively wealthy family with a number of stalls in the souk ensuring they didn't miss you. There are 9 brothers and 57 first cousins (oldest 28, youngest 6mths) in just the two generations we met.
The 2nd opportunity was a visit to the Hammam (or public bath house). Ladies day was Saturday so we trooped off, stripped off, sweated it out in the steam room, were scrubbed and rubbed and then relaxed with the local women where there were plenty of soft lounges, argeela water pipes and hot mint tea. Through the conversation Simone and I were invited to visit a local home.
Fantastic to meet and communicate with local women in their environment. They feel safe to communicate freely and openly. At the Hammam the women were really letting their hair down, singing and dancing, wearing very little, gossiping and releasing all the formality that restricts their lives daily.
Reham is 17 and lives with her motherAria and 1 unmarried brother, in the family home in a middle class suburb. Her father, an older sister and two brothers live and work in Hungary (this gives them valuable Euros to improve their standard of living). Two other brothers live in Aleppo and run the family 'supermarket'. Aria is 44 and was married at 15. her eldest child is 27 and Reham is the youngest at 17. She looks a lot older, although her life now is pretty good.
Reham has just gotten engaged to a 20yo man who works in Dubai as a mechanic. This marriage was arranged after an approach by another woman at the hammam (the mothers check out prospective daughters-in-law quite openly here - and why not). The two young ones were introduced said "yes he/she seems ok" and a bride price was negotiated. Reham wsa very proud that she was able to bring her family 500E worth of gold jewellery and a car for her eldest brother. The grooms family pay for the engagement and wedding and set up home for the couple.
Reham is like most 17yo and is very much in love with the idea and trappings of marriage. She has had parties and new dresses and presents, all of which she loves. She is a glamous girl with a lot of Rusian/ Hungarian fashion characteristics. She speaks good english and also german, hungarian and slovakian - in addition to Arabic. All her family speak German and the men also speak Hungarian/Slovakian.
The video we saw of her engagement party showed only women there (and Reham explained the men do not go to women's birthday parties or the engagement parties (there are several put on by different family members). And only men go to male birthday paties. They do have a mixed wedding. The groom did attend the engagement for a short period to give her gifts, dancing briefly with her and cutting a 5 tier cake. They will be engaged til next summer when they will marry and they will not kiss in this time. Reham really likes her new mother-in-law which is good because she will become part of his family and this lady will teach her to cook - not her own mother.
Reham and her mother do not wear hijab covers on their hair at home or in Hungary and only in public in Syria when it is easier to do so than put up with comments from other members of the public. Aria's sister called in while we were there and was wearing a full hijab so I think the Hungarian lifestyle has westernised them a lot.
The best part of visiting Aleppo was meeting the locals. We had lots of opportunities. Our leader Bruce has made friends over the last couple of years with a larger extended family of traders in the the main souk, whom he introduced us to. Hilarious guys with wicked senses of humour. 2 had just returned from 2 years in Sydney. They had missed the family support too much so came back. They seemed a relatively wealthy family with a number of stalls in the souk ensuring they didn't miss you. There are 9 brothers and 57 first cousins (oldest 28, youngest 6mths) in just the two generations we met.
The 2nd opportunity was a visit to the Hammam (or public bath house). Ladies day was Saturday so we trooped off, stripped off, sweated it out in the steam room, were scrubbed and rubbed and then relaxed with the local women where there were plenty of soft lounges, argeela water pipes and hot mint tea. Through the conversation Simone and I were invited to visit a local home.
Fantastic to meet and communicate with local women in their environment. They feel safe to communicate freely and openly. At the Hammam the women were really letting their hair down, singing and dancing, wearing very little, gossiping and releasing all the formality that restricts their lives daily.
Reham is 17 and lives with her motherAria and 1 unmarried brother, in the family home in a middle class suburb. Her father, an older sister and two brothers live and work in Hungary (this gives them valuable Euros to improve their standard of living). Two other brothers live in Aleppo and run the family 'supermarket'. Aria is 44 and was married at 15. her eldest child is 27 and Reham is the youngest at 17. She looks a lot older, although her life now is pretty good.
Reham has just gotten engaged to a 20yo man who works in Dubai as a mechanic. This marriage was arranged after an approach by another woman at the hammam (the mothers check out prospective daughters-in-law quite openly here - and why not). The two young ones were introduced said "yes he/she seems ok" and a bride price was negotiated. Reham wsa very proud that she was able to bring her family 500E worth of gold jewellery and a car for her eldest brother. The grooms family pay for the engagement and wedding and set up home for the couple.
Reham is like most 17yo and is very much in love with the idea and trappings of marriage. She has had parties and new dresses and presents, all of which she loves. She is a glamous girl with a lot of Rusian/ Hungarian fashion characteristics. She speaks good english and also german, hungarian and slovakian - in addition to Arabic. All her family speak German and the men also speak Hungarian/Slovakian.
The video we saw of her engagement party showed only women there (and Reham explained the men do not go to women's birthday parties or the engagement parties (there are several put on by different family members). And only men go to male birthday paties. They do have a mixed wedding. The groom did attend the engagement for a short period to give her gifts, dancing briefly with her and cutting a 5 tier cake. They will be engaged til next summer when they will marry and they will not kiss in this time. Reham really likes her new mother-in-law which is good because she will become part of his family and this lady will teach her to cook - not her own mother.
Reham and her mother do not wear hijab covers on their hair at home or in Hungary and only in public in Syria when it is easier to do so than put up with comments from other members of the public. Aria's sister called in while we were there and was wearing a full hijab so I think the Hungarian lifestyle has westernised them a lot.
# posted by The Essence of Good Taste @ 1:30 AM 
